Why bats never sympathize

Seriously, happy Halloween, and therefore the entirety of October. I’m properly blacked haired now and black fingernailed, and all the easy Goth stuff that I require for the month, in symbolism of the freedom to wear my darkness on the outside.

i will live here one day

But seriously, biologically related animals abound this month.  Bats, Owls, Cats, Three Headed Dogs (which i plan on expounding upon in due course), let’s see what else we got?

Whatever, bats.  Perhaps one of the most impressive examples of evolutionary rockindom around.  Obvious first point, FLYING MAMMAL.  All those movies where some emotional character talks about wanting to fly away (moulin rouge – “someday I’ll fly away”; Forrest Gump – “dear god, make me a bird, so i can fly far, far far away from here”; etc) are not watched by bats because they simply can’t relate.  Those movies talk about the wish to escape, but usually end up lecturing about how even if you do escape you have to come back and face your past/problems/inability-to-actually-stretch-out-your-fingers-and-grow-webbing-in- between-them and such.  Bats actually did fly away, they were all, “F this” and totally showed all the birds who were like “dude you need feathers and junk.”

But that’s just  the easy part of their magnificence.  But this is my first blog, so I’m gonna see if i actually broke into the interweb before i put all this effort into my essential bat rants.

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